Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Saturday, June 14, 2008
My wish...
True strength of character I believe is in someone who knows what they want and will do anything to keep it close. Love is precious and those whom you adore should always be cherished. Life is too short for bull shit, drama and head trips.
Over the past couple months I have been surrounded by people who constantly tell me how much they love me, how much they want to see me and making me feel completely welcome into their lives. I am me and that is enough. I am so far from perfect and yet that is okay. No one is perfect, there is NO normal. All we can do is surround ourselves with people who love us for who we are and want us to share in their lives. I can only give that which I have and to those that I love I will give it in all entirety.
The world will always be full of drama, woes and pit falls. We can't change that, but we can make sure that during those times we cling to those who mean the most and do our best to shield them and ourselves from the inevitable storms of life. The strong know the difference between ego and pride. Ego is a facade, something we put on for the rest of the world.
The happiest people are those who could care less what others think and would give their all gladly for those that they love. I aspire to be one of those people. That believe Love is the only thing worth fighting for. Walking away from love and not allowing yourself to really BE with someone is a sad, sad life.
I wonder if there will ever be a day when I can give someone my heart and place it in their hands knowing that it is safe. No drama, no running, no fear! Just true and hopeless love and devotion from one to another, this is what I wish for.
Over the past couple months I have been surrounded by people who constantly tell me how much they love me, how much they want to see me and making me feel completely welcome into their lives. I am me and that is enough. I am so far from perfect and yet that is okay. No one is perfect, there is NO normal. All we can do is surround ourselves with people who love us for who we are and want us to share in their lives. I can only give that which I have and to those that I love I will give it in all entirety.
The world will always be full of drama, woes and pit falls. We can't change that, but we can make sure that during those times we cling to those who mean the most and do our best to shield them and ourselves from the inevitable storms of life. The strong know the difference between ego and pride. Ego is a facade, something we put on for the rest of the world.
The happiest people are those who could care less what others think and would give their all gladly for those that they love. I aspire to be one of those people. That believe Love is the only thing worth fighting for. Walking away from love and not allowing yourself to really BE with someone is a sad, sad life.
I wonder if there will ever be a day when I can give someone my heart and place it in their hands knowing that it is safe. No drama, no running, no fear! Just true and hopeless love and devotion from one to another, this is what I wish for.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Some girls don't play nice...
All of my life I have been a tomboy. By this I mean to say that I am
not a girly girl and never have been. I seldom worry about make up,
clothes, or my hair. To be honest I only really started liking wearing
make up on a consistent basis about a year ago. I'm slowly starting
to appreciate and embrace my femininity. But it's taken a long time.
I still remember back when I was very young, going over to a little
girls house who wanted to play Barbie. I sat there staring at her like
she had lost her mind. I went home to tell my mom about the weird
girl who kept making her dolls talk, but they weren't talking dolls.
My mom laughed of course and said "yeah some girls like dolls."
I was also one of the tall girls in elementary school. I would be playing
basketball with the boys, while all the girls were sitting off to the
sides drawing hearts in their notebooks talking about which one
of the guys I just body checked they were gonna marry.
Needless to say I was a very late bloomer.
Maybe it was the fact that I never felt any connection with most
of the girls, or the fact that often times they would tease me for
liking such boyish things. I have never really had women in my life.
I have a knee jerk reaction to women that they are cady, gossipy
and well just annoying. Maybe that is just a reaction to all those
years of feeling like I don't fit in, I've never really thought about it.
Men, however, I get and quite frankly their complete simplicity is
wonderful. Some of my dearest friends have been men and to be
honest some of them lately have been some of the hugest assets
in this hard time of my life. I talk to my girls about dieting and
needing to lose weight and all my girls chime in and say,
"yea I need to as well we should do it together." My male
friends say, "Tiffany,you are beautiful. Don't worry about it."
What more could a girl want to hear?
Suddenly, however, I find myself in a life full of women.
Never did it really occur to me that other women were
ostracized like me for not wearing dresses or wanting to
stand, stare and coo at a guy. But they were, and they share
with me the strength and boldness a woman develops when
she lives her life not really worried about whether or not what
she is doing is in fashion or popular. The women I have met
I am so grateful for because they have opened up a side of me
that I didn't even know was there. I am a stronger woman
right now typing these words. Women are the strength to any
relationship. Even the men I know will agree with that.
So to stand in a room of strong, smart, wonderful women
is a healing for my soul that I had no idea was so battered.
I could never go back to living a life without my girls, I adore them.
They bring something that was sorely lacking my life, balance.
The Yin needs the Yang and a woman needs her girls. I have learned
this lesson and I am so grateful! I love you all !!
Yes and my boys too, I can feel them pouting !!
Shot with FinePix A350
not a girly girl and never have been. I seldom worry about make up,
clothes, or my hair. To be honest I only really started liking wearing
make up on a consistent basis about a year ago. I'm slowly starting
to appreciate and embrace my femininity. But it's taken a long time.
I still remember back when I was very young, going over to a little
girls house who wanted to play Barbie. I sat there staring at her like
she had lost her mind. I went home to tell my mom about the weird
girl who kept making her dolls talk, but they weren't talking dolls.
My mom laughed of course and said "yeah some girls like dolls."
I was also one of the tall girls in elementary school. I would be playing
basketball with the boys, while all the girls were sitting off to the
sides drawing hearts in their notebooks talking about which one
of the guys I just body checked they were gonna marry.
Needless to say I was a very late bloomer.
Maybe it was the fact that I never felt any connection with most
of the girls, or the fact that often times they would tease me for
liking such boyish things. I have never really had women in my life.
I have a knee jerk reaction to women that they are cady, gossipy
and well just annoying. Maybe that is just a reaction to all those
years of feeling like I don't fit in, I've never really thought about it.
Men, however, I get and quite frankly their complete simplicity is
wonderful. Some of my dearest friends have been men and to be
honest some of them lately have been some of the hugest assets
in this hard time of my life. I talk to my girls about dieting and
needing to lose weight and all my girls chime in and say,
"yea I need to as well we should do it together." My male
friends say, "Tiffany,you are beautiful. Don't worry about it."
What more could a girl want to hear?
Suddenly, however, I find myself in a life full of women.
Never did it really occur to me that other women were
ostracized like me for not wearing dresses or wanting to
stand, stare and coo at a guy. But they were, and they share
with me the strength and boldness a woman develops when
she lives her life not really worried about whether or not what
she is doing is in fashion or popular. The women I have met
I am so grateful for because they have opened up a side of me
that I didn't even know was there. I am a stronger woman
right now typing these words. Women are the strength to any
relationship. Even the men I know will agree with that.
So to stand in a room of strong, smart, wonderful women
is a healing for my soul that I had no idea was so battered.
I could never go back to living a life without my girls, I adore them.
They bring something that was sorely lacking my life, balance.
The Yin needs the Yang and a woman needs her girls. I have learned
this lesson and I am so grateful! I love you all !!
Yes and my boys too, I can feel them pouting !!
Shot with FinePix A350
Monday, June 2, 2008
Not for the faint of heart...
Around me I have friends who are single, and many who are attached. Some are happy and some are not. The common thread between those that are happy is Honesty. Those who are honest with who they are either to themselves or with their partners are happy. Why then do we ALL at some point either lie about or deny thoughts, feelings, emotions or intentions.
I get tips on the daily about dating and love. Don't act to interested you will scare them away. If you are interested act interested but pretend to be busy. Never appear eager try and be aloof, don't be coy it's a turn off. Almost every piece of advice I receive at some point gets contradicted by another.
I had a dear friend last week speak some very true words to me. I always appreciate his honesty he tends to knock me down a few pegs when I need it.
"Tiffany, you are the prize. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Any man would be lucky to have you and he should bend over backwards to prove his worth to you." .
To say I was flattered by this would be a complete understatement. I was floored and grateful. Sometimes when we put ourselves out into the single market I think we lose sight of the fact that we as an individual are wonderful and are not really part of a giant mass of singletons. Don't get me wrong I know my value as a friend and as a partner, however I don't think I expect as much out of potential bf's as I should.
My weakness is clear... I am tough, I can handle anything, I am independent and will always land on my feet. I , however, will almost never allow myself to be vulnerable. I have been known to walk away from possible heartbreaking situations only to find out that my walking away broke someone else's heart. I NEVER assume someone likes me for fear that I am wrong or reading things incorrectly. I will instead keep moving on as if nothing was happening, only to have someone say, "hey where did you go?" This situation has presented itself to me many times.
I am not good at the guessing games, they give me a headache. I really do need it spelled out for me. I have been approached by many men lately who have let me know they were interested only to be completely dumbfounded. Yes, I am that clueless! I am an open book to the people in my life and I keep no part of my life a secret. I do however keep my heart under a lock and key, I always have. It's not easy to get me to open up on matters of the heart. I shield very well , I have years of practice.
Being single only reminds me of how guarded I really am and makes me worried. Will I ever trust someone enough to really fall? Is there someone out there that would even bother to try? Is it even fair to ask someone to be that direct and honest when I can't? These are just some of the many questions that rattle in my head. Life is short and could be so simple. It is us who make it complex and confusing.
But why then knowing it is me who makes this harder then it has to be.. do I continue with the same path? I wish I knew...
I get tips on the daily about dating and love. Don't act to interested you will scare them away. If you are interested act interested but pretend to be busy. Never appear eager try and be aloof, don't be coy it's a turn off. Almost every piece of advice I receive at some point gets contradicted by another.
I had a dear friend last week speak some very true words to me. I always appreciate his honesty he tends to knock me down a few pegs when I need it.
"Tiffany, you are the prize. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Any man would be lucky to have you and he should bend over backwards to prove his worth to you." .
To say I was flattered by this would be a complete understatement. I was floored and grateful. Sometimes when we put ourselves out into the single market I think we lose sight of the fact that we as an individual are wonderful and are not really part of a giant mass of singletons. Don't get me wrong I know my value as a friend and as a partner, however I don't think I expect as much out of potential bf's as I should.
My weakness is clear... I am tough, I can handle anything, I am independent and will always land on my feet. I , however, will almost never allow myself to be vulnerable. I have been known to walk away from possible heartbreaking situations only to find out that my walking away broke someone else's heart. I NEVER assume someone likes me for fear that I am wrong or reading things incorrectly. I will instead keep moving on as if nothing was happening, only to have someone say, "hey where did you go?" This situation has presented itself to me many times.
I am not good at the guessing games, they give me a headache. I really do need it spelled out for me. I have been approached by many men lately who have let me know they were interested only to be completely dumbfounded. Yes, I am that clueless! I am an open book to the people in my life and I keep no part of my life a secret. I do however keep my heart under a lock and key, I always have. It's not easy to get me to open up on matters of the heart. I shield very well , I have years of practice.
Being single only reminds me of how guarded I really am and makes me worried. Will I ever trust someone enough to really fall? Is there someone out there that would even bother to try? Is it even fair to ask someone to be that direct and honest when I can't? These are just some of the many questions that rattle in my head. Life is short and could be so simple. It is us who make it complex and confusing.
But why then knowing it is me who makes this harder then it has to be.. do I continue with the same path? I wish I knew...
Sunday, March 30, 2008
It's been too long...
Due to the creation of a website for my crafts I have neglected this blog for far too long. I had considered doing away with it all together, but today I read the first posting I made over two years ago.
In the last three years I have gone through more change and confusion then I hope to ever go through again.
Reading over the past blogs reminds me so much of what I have experienced and learned in such a short time. A new chapter of my life is unfolding, and with that comes both uncertainty and excitement.
I am grateful to be surrounded by a group of friends who remind me how lucky I am each and every day.
I have made it a rule of my life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy... you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in.
~Katherine Mansfield
In the last three years I have gone through more change and confusion then I hope to ever go through again.
Reading over the past blogs reminds me so much of what I have experienced and learned in such a short time. A new chapter of my life is unfolding, and with that comes both uncertainty and excitement.
I am grateful to be surrounded by a group of friends who remind me how lucky I am each and every day.
I have made it a rule of my life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy... you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in.
~Katherine Mansfield
Sunday, January 13, 2008
I love my Hobbies!
About a year ago I had a friend invite me to join her in a stamping club. It was a Stampin' Up club that involved once a month getting together with a bunch of women making two to three cards and purchasing stamp products. Needless to say my new Christmas present (pictured above) is now full of the goodies I purchased for my new found love of stamping, as well as my scrapbooking goodies I have collected over the past 7 years. Although I never thought myself to be creative, I find I love to do crafts, it's a wonderful way to meet kind, fun people. I also added a link to my card gallery at Splitcoast Stampers. It is an online community of stampers who share their love of crafts and cards.
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